Immaculate

This brother on the train, late 30's Puerto Rican cat, wearing a white Tank Top, White Summer Kangol and a white Thermal around his neck all immaculate, brilliantly clean. A pair of beat up black Chukkas and baggie blue jeans 90's style. He's got random tattoos all over his arms that are the kind made with a needle, thread and pen ink. He's sprawled out like he was in his living room. He wakes up out if his slumber on the crowded F train I'm on. He looks medicated. Stands up mumbling obscenities, and making Karate gestures with his hands. The Dude: "Obscenity, obscenity, I should punch this, obscenity, obscenity..." Stumbling across the moving train, he sits on the double seat, takes it over and sprawls out again... The Dude: "Obscenity, obscenity", points with his fingers shaped like a gun at a white yuppy (who was apparently responsible for waking him out of his deep sleep) and says, pissed off in crystal clear Hood English... "This NWORD just farted!..." Mumbled a few more obscenities and fell asleep...

Moments later… The Rican wakes up. He stood up and while he’s putting on his Thermal begins to talk in Spanish (that’s how I know he was PR) to two South American (I think they may have been Peruvian) ladies, who I over heard speaking Quechua, and probably didn’t speak a word of Spanish. The Dude, belligerently speaks, “Mira, utedes son Ecuadorian no??” He laughs, mumbles something that’s not understandable…The ladies, look at each other, whisper something and giggle. He then spots a middle aged lady (who he refers to as Old Lady) and simultaneously bypasses (genuinely unknowingly) a young lady who is at least 8 months pregnant… She was standing no more than 3 inches from his face and was considering sitting down. The Dude, “Mira, Old lady, Old lady, come sit down, come sit down..” She ignores him… This annoys him and he dismisses her with a wave of his hand… He looks worried and begins to wipe down the seat he just had his feet on. The Dude, “Oh my god mami, (to the 8 Month pregnant lady with an enormous belly who was standing right in front of him) I didn’t see you mami, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” as he wipes the seat down. The Dude “Sit down, sit down…” Proceeded to say sorry at least 30 times..” The lady clearly recognizes that’s he’s strange but thanked him and smiled politely. The Dude: “You know, I was trying to give my seat to the old lady (referring to the middle aged woman at ear shot, standing amongst a packed F train) but she didn’t hear me…I’m so sorry… Mira, Old Lady, sit down…”